What I learned as a People Pleaser

I was brought up conditioned to be people-pleasing.

For a long time, I felt responsible for how people reacted to me being me
So I shrunk myself to fit into the box of what was expected of me
Downplayed my feelings and prioritised “the peace”
Mask your Truth in your gentleness and be conflict adverse, they whispered with ease.

I made myself perfect to the standards society deemed
Conforming was pretty easy
Just follow the lines and walk straight in the path ahead
The road to success is on the way.

But bit by bit, I was eating myself up on the inside
Who was I?
What was I really fighting for?
Am I a zombie or am I more?

Looking good on the outside, a perfect formula for success
Yet what is the point really?
There’s got to be something deeper
Something within urged me to discover.

So I said screw it officially
I am now on the path of unconditioning
All the things I have learnt
Especially to be people-pleasing.

But now I see people pleasing as a blessing
Because without learning it
I wouldn’t have the opportunity to unlearn it
Understanding my boundaries and growing in spirituality.

I know now that I am not responsible for how others feel when I speak my Truth
My responsibility is to be more of me
To take my space and shine authentically
Grounding my feet so firmly to the ground
Like the tree with its roots deep and around.

Saying my gratitude to every step in the journey
Every expansion, every clearing, every up and every down
Each foot forward manifested into this very moment
Everything is happening in divine momentum

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed my writing, I’d love for you to join me in my journey by following me on Medium and my poetry page on Instagram :)

May you be well and happy, free from suffering.



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Phoebe Tan Yi Xiu

Phoebe Tan Yi Xiu


Uncovering the depths and breadths of life through (unsophisticated) poetry, writing and going within 💫 More creation at phoesible.wordpress.com